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The Night the Earth Ate Don Juniper

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 A Florida man was caught on camera being eaten by an evolved ground creature. On the night of September 20, 2019, Mr. Don Juniper did what he practically did every night, but this time, it did not end well.

Don had a very nice spot on the Florida coast where the water traveled away from him, which could carry things out of his sight, off his property and onto someone else's. He designated an area that he called his "Trash Hole", right on the edge of his land. According to the footage, he appears to have dumped all kinds of things from carcasses, diapers, condoms, "cursed golf balls", motor oil, food grease and even animal and human feces.

"This man has done some awful and disgusting things to that water and land. Every day it's something with this guy." One official said after watching Don's personal security camera footage, dating back just a few months, so far. They also said that a week before the death (or kidnapping?) the trashy area started to back up and become a blobby mess, but Don kept going, not thinking twice, it seems.

On the night in question, Don went to his Trash Hole, pulled down his pants, turned around to relieve himself and suddenly the garbage turned into this animal type creature, opened it's mouth like the Cave of Wonders from 'Aladdin' and then it consumed Don's body whole. Physical remnants of the victim have yet to be found, but he is presumed dead. Only a few have viewed the video and it won't be released publicly at this time.

Tickets went on sale today to see this evolved creature. One female bent over to get a better look and her sunglasses fell off. She was quickly eaten in front of everyone in attendance.

"I think Mother Earth is seeking revenge against those who disrespect her!" One observer stated, while another said, "Other than eating that one poor lady, the thing has been harmless."

Some have even claimed that it speaks to them telepathically saying things like: "Help me", "Clean me" and even "Feed me", as in, "If you mess with me I will eat you body and soul!"

The People have, of course, been trying to name it. They compare it to The Blob, Swamp Thing, Audrey 2, and even Captain Planet. As of now, the name seems to be Captain Earth Blob.

Whaddya say we get out there and help keep Mother Earth clean?! We don't want Captain Earth Blob to devour us and our souls like it will the bad people we send as tribute.


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Bender






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